Little did I know that this would become the basis for learning a variety of useful skills.

Following is a demonstration of how refined our calibration can be from the first day of a  NLP Practitioner Course with School of Excellence where I train.

The more I learn to calibrate, the more I realize how much more there is – that just passes by  and we don’t see or hear.

Reminds me a of a joke that I heard from Dr. Richard Bandler – “People  ask me if I work with the Blind and the Deaf and I respond – Always”

If you really want to get good at human communication – relationships, influence, sales, management – you may want to train to calibrate. And as I always mention in our workshops, it is easier to calibrate when you drop judgements and assumptions. When you can look at folded hands and describe it as “folded hands” and nothing more(instead of ‘closed’, ‘not willing to learn’, etc) – that’s when you really start your journey of Calibration. This is where NLP differs from conventional Psychology and also what makes NLP more challenging to master.

So if you like me, want to get rails working with the native ruby version on Mac, you can do so
with the following steps.

1. Install Xcode from App Store.
(MAC doesn’t ship with a CD or with Xcode installed anymore)
2. Launch Xcode from Mission Control to complete the installation
3. Open Xcode -> preferences -> Downloads -> Install – Command Line Tools
(This gets you make, gcc and other goodies. Yes Xcode doesn’t ship with this installed anymore)
4. sudo gem install rails

Sometimes you maybe unable to install Xcode. Updating the Lion version to 10.7.3 from software update helps.

If you still have challenges: You can also attempt the following.
sudo gems update --system
and/or
sudo gems install rubygems-update
sudo update_rubygems

After install the complete Dev Package (Xcode + Command Line Tools) all gem compilations work like breeze.

Good Luck

I started with rest_client, realized it couldn’t do the certificate part for whatever reasons. (There was a bug. I wish I had logged in)

And finally after slow progressive improvements. Here is the code:

require 'net/http'
require 'uri'
uri = URI.parse(@url)
http = Net::HTTP.new(uri.host, uri.port)
http.use_ssl = true
http.verify_mode = OpenSSL::SSL::VERIFY_PEER
http.ca_file = "equifax_ca.crt"

request.basic_auth @username, @apikey
response = http.request(request)
return response.body

Hope you find this early when you need it

Cheers!

The panel of judges were

• Latha Rajan – Director of Ma Foi Ranstad
• Tarulatha Raj – Singapore Airlines
• Myself

Latha Rajan gave the closure speech and assured that machines won’t take away the market for secretary and administrative offices. She said this quite reassuringly being the director of the largest HR firm in the country.  She concluded saying what was most important is that  the secretaries keep updating themselves to the changing nature of the role which is getting more intellectual everyday.

What did I Learn?

1. In sales, you know that getting past a secretary can be a key skill. Today, I had an opportunity to really understand the diversity and watch some patterns of secretaries to people in key positions.  To understand their World from a different position.

2. This job has the lowest attrition rate. Two contestants had been with their boss for over 16 and 22 years now. So if you ever need a secretary, employ one who you think can support you now and in the future as I also saw a pattern between the efficieny and the loyalty of the secretary.

3. A smart secretary can be a cost saving option over event managers and other necessary business needs.

NLP Fun

With conversational NLP Skills, you can imagine how naughty I could have been!

1.  I did a collapsing anchor pattern  on a young girl. The fun element was eliciting both the resource and non-resource state without the girl and the panelists realizing it. And glad I had an opportunity to test  the work

2. Used Meta Model to widen the options of another candidate with future pacing and proper ecology check.

3. Kind of attempted to install 3rd Position. I didn’t do this very well. I only used verbal leading and didn’t pace and lead the candidate into 3rd non-verbally.

Appreciate IASAP on the initiative. It is good to see communities outside the Open Source and Business World! If you know what I mean

As a rule of thumb have atleast 3 Months of Current Salary in your Account! You never know what awaits you in the future. Before you think this is impossible in your current situation here is a trick to make it happen. No this is not about saving.Its about exploiting finance!

Lets assume your existing loans and lifestyle requires 1 Lakh a month.Then for 3 Months you need 3 Lakhs. Now go and get a loan for 3 Lakhs and make a Fixed Deposit. If you are earning to spend 1 Lakh a month 3 Lakh personal loan is easy. Before you judge, let me demonstrate the maths and prove that you actually end up making money and adding safetly to your situation(yes counting the interest).

Loan for 3 Lakhs:  Reducing Interest of 15%:   Emi is 10399 : Total Interest in 3 Years: 74385.6

Recurring Deposit 3 Lakhs: Interest 8.25%: Total Interest in 3 Years: 87815.73

Note: You are actually making a profit of 13000+.

What I am suggesting is not to be dependent on that money. If you are going on your own, you better be  able to generate income from the first month. All that I am suggesting is that even if you believe that you are safe, it is safer to have 3 Months+ Salary in your bank all the time. And if you don’t end up using it, the money makes more money. If you don’t have the money for 3 Months+ salary, borrow money for that safety and money still ends up making money.

Every negotiation on your salary, on the rules and your decisions will benefit from such financial freedom.

Remember its difficult to take a loan just after quitting your job. So take the loan first, Secure it in a Fixed Deposit and then quit. That way if everything goes well, you made more money that you loaned. If everything doesn’t go well, you will have a breathing time of 3 Months! By the way, just think of what it will be like after those 3 years, you will have 4 months of salary to blow on a world tour, exotic vacation, Car, Investment, Feeding the hungry or whatever it is that you fancy now, even if you end up with no hike and just had an ordinary run.

On the recommendation of a friend, Raja Subramanian – I have now made it a personal target to secure 12+ months of finance as liquid cash. Not that I plan to quit but I like that kind of freedom.

1. How serious are you taken?

No matter what people tell you. Ensure you discuss your stock options before joining the firm. The market standard is 15 – 25%. Be it heading sales or director of technology or CXO. The problem with not taking stock in the beginning is you may be doing errand jobs for a long time before anyone and even you realize that you are wasting your time.

2. Is there a Product or Service?

I am not joking! Most startups dont have a Product or Service that they can provide right away. The least they can do is convey what the product is in the first or second meeting! If they haven’t – be sure they can’t convince any one else! A successfull product or service company will be able to explain their product in less than 2 minutes. Don’t ever buy rubbish like Complex, Value driven, Agile, Confidential. Check for specifics!

3. What’s the Business Plan?

This is the most surprising part. There are organizations even if everything came their way by virtue of Luck. They still won’t be growing. The setup and plan just doesn’t allow that. Make sure there is an aggressive and practical Business plan shared with everyone in the Board and you believe in it.  A long excel sheet doesn’t mean anything. What matters is that the plan makes sense! Like a product I believe any Business plan can be explained in 2 minutes too.

4. Service to Product?

If a company wants to do service and then move into product. Say “No”  right away. Not having a budget is only poor planning. It has nothing to do with how new or old the company is. If there is no budget for the product then  don’t waste your time.

5. What’s the purpose?

This is the most important one.  If the organization’s only reason for existence is making money – FLEE. Cause they will attract the wrong partners. Will have messed up policies and low potential for  Success. Note – everyone likes to claim they have a purpose. But you need to test the spirits.

6. Test

If you are the kind of guy who can get lunch with VC’s. Use it. Present your company’s product or service (not the company) and the business plan sans the confidential information. No better advice than from a VC. They have been in this business for a long time. And they know what works and what is just plain Drama.

Don’t make the mistake of going by Profile. A great management team with a very impressive profiles means nothing to anyone. Not to the VC’s nor to the clients. It shouldn’t mean anything to you too. The proof is in the test! Test the product, Test the Plan.

7. Know when to Quit

Break patterns that are not helpful. And keep moving in the right direction. Don’t complain. Convict and Make Changes. But in the end if there is no progress. Lay it on the table. If nothing works then Quit. Remember just because someone understands that “there is a pattern” things don’t change. The only evidence is actions. And when patterns repeat and you have given your warning before and it ruins any scope for business growth. Quit. It is alright if you don’t get paid for a couple of months. When you take the right offer it will be relief beyond relief.

8. Be Responsible

If you are taken seriously chances are you have an important role. Maybe P&L or something that affects it. Don’t take what you can’t deliver or not passionate about. Know that there is a team that is risking their career with you(Board and the employee’s). Make sure you are not just another joker searching for a job with a fancy title and a nice package.  Responsibility drives everything else.

Next night the frog went to the nightingale and said that he was the owner of that tree. He also said that he was known for his splendid baritone and wrote songs for Bog trumpet. The nightingale asked how the frog liked her song. He said that it was not bad but she would merely remain a beginner without his proper training. So she offered herself as his student calling him Mozart in disguise.

Animals came every night to hear nightingale sing and the frog cleverly charged fee for admission and earned a lot. One morning it began to rain. The frog made her practice for six hours. Her voice became hoarse. But at night it revived and she performed well in front of the audience. The frog made the nightingale practice for longer hours and nightingale grew more weak and pale and this affected her voice. So the animals lost interest in her singing and stopped coming .This made the frog angry he told nightingale to puff her lungs according to fashion as she still owed him sixty shillings. The nightingale sang weeping but died due to the burst of a vein.

Now the frog called her stupid as he had tried to teach her but she was tense and nervous and prone to influence. Now the frog again became the undisputed king of Bingle Bog and sang confidently.

A poem by Vikram Seth – “The Frog and the Nightingale”.

Above article is a copy pasted summary from the net.

My young friends in Corporates, I dedicate this to you! Everyone around you may think they are leaders(self proclaimed). Be Warned! Most time they don’t have a clue on what they talk.

Hold your ground. Be Shrewd and have nothing to fear.

“Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” Matthew 10:16

“The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion.” Proverbs 28:1

It is just as much a surgery because you are breaking into someone else established patterns at the neuro chemical level and carving a new path!

Well but what is surprising is you can do it conversationally and people do it all the time without realizing it.

Just for a moment jump into the fantasy world of Star Trek. You can transport someone – when a Ship is stationed, when it is at impulse speed and at warp speed.

Now any trekkie would know that it is easy to do transportation at orbit or at impulse speed but a select few can transport at warp speed.

The question to the practitioners – Do you want to do your work only using Hypnosis or a semi focussed session without hypnosis. I think the real skill is to do it when the mind is jumping between thoughts like in warp speed faster than light!

We all have seen Bandler do it . Some live and some in videos. The point I am trying to make is that first it is possible to get any specific result without having to use formal hypnosis as long as you are quick enough. Well this is already documented in the famous book by Bandler and Grinder on Traceformations.

What I am more interested in brining to attention is that we are all neuro surgeons at warp speed. Which means you are altering peoples thought patterns some permanent some momentary – You want it or not – The question is how purposeful do you want to be?

Especially if you are trained on NLP by any worthy book or seminar. You are already always influencing people at the Neurological level even outside your awareness. The question really is how much of the influence are you happy about? Or in the first place even aware of.

Lastly, to those who take the initiative to make purposeful neurological changes conversationally. Keep this in mind, more specifically if you are a practitioner - Every time Bandler finishes with someone the person is glowing like a lit candle! You don’t have to squint your eyes to notice the change. It is right there. And also Bandler tests his work even when it is done conversationally.

In the past few months I have some observations and learnings on this. But to summarize I would say the pre requisite for Conversation Neurological Programming is

• Stealth (Humour, Creativity, Provocation, Confusion – all this can help – depending on your style)
• Speed (For – Elicitation, Anchoring, Post Hypnotic Suggestions)
• Precision (Many tactics – 1 Outcome - Strategy Elicitation using TOTE – Test Operate Test Exit)
• Repetition(In different states, different contexts, creativity can come a long way to hide repetition)
• Rapport(Ofcourse )

To all those staring out – don’t be fooled – NLP is a lot of practice.

Example of NLP instructions go as follows

1) Establish Rapport

2) Elicit Desired State

3) Anchor

4)…

This is the equivalent of telling a surgeon

1) Open the Stomach

2) Remove the stone

3) ….

Well it is easier said! But everyone knows that for a surgeon to do the above requires a lot of precision and a steady state of mind.

NLP is no different.

So how do you learn?

Simple – By making the world your practice ground!

Even when you are not actively practicing. Notice!

All the patterns of NLP are out there. You can notice it in every conversation.

Start noticing patterns, observe interactions between people, notice the dynamics.

Its everywhere!

But here is a pattern ( A Meta Program perhaps?) that I have commonly observed.

Apology

The ones who are quick to apologize know not what they are sorry about! And how can you ever trust someone to correct the relationship or their actions when they do not even understand what they are sorry about?

Some apologize to win the other person and some apologize because they mean it!

I think if you can differentiate between the two – (quite easily by the quality of what they are apologetic about) you can begin to be careful with your partners, vendors, friends and even strangers.

It is quite a pity that most management programs even the very popular ones teach you to apologize to win the client. But doesn’t teach you to apologize because you mean it and you pursue excellence! Apology is good and more than essential only as long as every bit of you means it.

The only way to win anyone is by Honesty(The trouble is everyone believes they are honest )

Praise

Praise is another easy sign to know about someone.

From patterns that I have observed everyone who gives meaningless generic compliments does not actually mean it.

The only reasons someone will exaggerate and praise you is because they have not yet found the genuinely praise worthy qualities in you.

So here are some suggestions:

Someone gives you undue compliments – RUN (because they need something from you without even knowing what you can offer)

Someone gives you an apology before conviction – START PREEMPTIVE MEASURE (because you can be sure the mistake will repeat otherwise)

I am not judging anyone who does any of the above. It does not mean they are bad it only means certain things are out of their conscious awareness.

Any unconsious behavior change generally needs the following

• Right state of mind
• Motivation
• New Behavior
• Repetition of the new behavior

(Lay man’s translation of State Choice, Propulsion System, Stratergy/Meta-Program, Future Pacing)

Self – Test

If such behaviors are truly outside conscious awareness chances are you are nodding yes and yet exhibit most of these qualities. If you truly want to do a self check. Get into a state now of a child with no preset beliefs about yourself and read out your history of praise and sorry mails. I am going to do a self check right now!

This blog entry is just an outline of How my Faith in God is actually moving me closer to NLP.

To begin with,

The tools of NLP doesn’t operate on the World itself, it merely works on our perceptions of the world. The more NLP exposes that the Map is not the Territory, the more I stand in Awe of God. Such beautiful design that the engineer in me can admire endlessly!

I have been subject to a various epistemologies, school of thoughts and philosophies  through culture, school, friends, movies, reading. Why did NLP appeal to me even as a high school kid when from probability I could have chose to follow so many other disciplines?

The answer lies in how NLP is aligned with my own faith. Please note this is not a distortion. I appreciate the differences. I am merely outlining the similarities.

Both NLP and my Faith

are based on well formed rules that are later only to broken artfully!

are a song of Freedom and Hope

are more of the person involved than just the tools

appreciates Human Intuitions

There is much to write. But for now I would like to conclude with this beautiful passage from the Bible.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”